Let's get it on

I'm ready to start seriously trying again to get pregnant. I haven't quite communicated this to my husband, but I'm sure he's up for the challenge. I'm going to the OB tomorrow to discuss some issues we've been having and see if we can work on getting this baby making business straightened out.

The idea of adding another child to our mix is equally exhilarating and terrifying. Things are pretty darn good with Me, Mike and Nugget and I'm not sure how having another baby will tip the balance. I've been assured by everyone I know with more than one child that things WILL be manageable, we WILL love the second child as much as Nugget, it WILL make us a happier family in the long run.

I have to be honest and say that I am very nervous about being pregnant and going through a C-Section again. I've had a lot of health problems in the last year or so, mostly relating to my heart and some odd phantom pain in my right side that no doctor can accurately diagnose. I lie awake at night worrying that getting pregnant again will stress my heart too much and I'll get really ill, or that I'll go into arrest during delivery, or something else unforeseen and probably not terribly likely to happen. I'll vow in the dead of night that I won't take that chance, I won't try this month.

But then my child will do something to remind me exactly why I want to have another baby in the first place: he'll run into our backyard after I've picked him up from school and play in a quiet, lonely way that reminds me that another child is not only a baby for Mommy, but a sibling and playmate for him. He needs a sibling; someone to share toys and insults with, someone to whisper under the covers at night when they should be sleeping. He needs more than just me and Mike.

Keep your fingers crossed.