The Good, the Bad, the OMFG

I have been a medical mystery for several months. It started as crampy feelings in my lower right abdominal area and our first thought was appendix. After running over to Doc-in-the-box I was told Nope, not appendix and sent home. That led me to my internist who said it was either an ulcer or possibly gallbladder disease. Gave me a script for Prilosec and sent me on my crampy way. This did not help, however and after many other fun medical tests include ultrasounds and about 10,000 needles I am still undiagnosed. My internist suggests it could be a OBGYN issue and sends me to see them. Here is where it gets fun.

We've been trying to have a baby for a while, although admittedly we *could* have tried harder. My cycles have been all messed up for months now, and it figure it is a combination of many factors: age, stress, and that fact that I've put on quite a few pounds in the last year or so. I've been upset about it, but never to the point where I think there is something HORRIBLY wrong with my girl parts...

So I head into the OB's office and she tells me it could be ovarian cysts which I have dealt with in the past. I go back for an ultrasound and low and behold there's one chillin' on my left (WTF?) ovary. It looks 99% normal except for a little spot on one of the edges that they don't know what it could be. So she tells me she's going to schedule me for a repeat U/S and have some blook work done to rule out ovarian cancer. Uh... what the fuck? Did she just say cancer?

So understandably I'm freaking the hell out. Even though I know that 95% of all cysts are begnin in nature, and even though I know that I've had these before - I am absolutely fucking freaking out. I did the stupidest thing possible yesterday, I googled ovarian cancer.

OH.MY.FUCKING.G-D.

This shit kills people, almost all of them that have it. So now I'm even more freaked out and curled up on my office floor in a little, fat ball. Why did I google? Why?

I'm a little better today, mostly because I think I've figured out that there's not much I can do but wait and hear back from the doctor's office. The shitty part is that that test is far from perfect (again - thanks google) and I'm not even sure I can trust the results when they do come in.

So all of you in Internet Land (all 3 of you that are reading this blog) please cross your fingers, toes, etc.. and pray to the deity or FSM of your choice that this thing is nothing and I will be ok.