And another one bites the dust

So here's another cycle come and gone and no little parasite inside me to show for all that effort.

I'm angry that this is happening. I keep looking for reasons and answers as to what I can change, how I can fix this, and some clue that it is normal for this to happen. I'm not sure if this is related to the issues I've been having with my ovaries or if it stems from something else.

I know several women who have had fertility issues in the past, and several still going through them. Its not like this is all that uncommon, but still it is different to hear others talk of the frustration than actually experience it yourself. I admire those women even more than ever.

Michael has been my rock today since my cycle started over last night. I've been your typical weepy female, all goo-ing over every baby I see and holding Nugget to my chest like he's 3 months instead of 3 years old.

If I can just avoid that damned stereotypical statement of "it'll happen when it's supposed to happen" or "don't get discouraged, it will happen eventually" I think I'll be ok. I'm just so fucking tired of those useless platitudes. Especially from people that don't know what the hell they are talking about. Every person's story is different. Every person feels differently about fate, God, choices... So just keep what I am sure are well meaning statements behind your teeth, please I beg you.

In other news: I rode a bike today for the first time in forever. My thighs hurt a little and the feeling of whizzing around the park on a beautiful fall day made me feel like a kid again. It was totally what I needed today. Bliss...